The Uglification of Haley July 31, 2007

I’m, really, so glad I had that 3rd piece of my little monkey’s birthday cake. Really. So glad. Actually, truth be told, I had 4 pieces. BUT, I only ate the icing on the last 2 pieces…. Of course, I passed out shortly after the 5th piece (did I say 5?), and I woke up shaking like a leaf — because, did I mention?, I’d eaten nothing else but my Starbucks chai tea latte (BLECH-but-can’t-help-myself…HELP!) all day….  Bad me, BAD!

My little monkey’s 2 years old now! TWO! SHE ate three pieces of cake…. (And, little else, as usual….)

So, I’m officially a truck. Here, look. It’s me on my way to the wedding I went to on Saturday night:

DRESS!!! EEEEEEEEEEEK! I know. I know I know I know I know I know. I HATE it. Josh-O got it for me, though, and he refused to get it for me in plain BLACK like I wanted. It’s Old Navy. And, it’s ALL WRONG. AS IF I’m not NOTICEABLE enough? I REEEEEALLY need a pattern like this to ACCENTUATE all my curves. ‘Nuff. ‘Nuff said. About the dress….

How ’bout that HAIR, though??? If you’ve been to my other blog, The Cheaty Monkey, you know I HATE my new haircut, and that I’ve cried many-a-tear about it. And, I’m trying REALLY hard not to approach that dumbarse hairdresser and give him a piece of my mind…and take scissors to HIS HAIR. DO NOT MESS WITH A PREGNANT WOMAN’S HAIR!?!?! If she tells you to LEAVE IT LONG!!!, YOU FREAKING BETTER LISTEN TO HER. Okay, deep breath, don’t get me started. I HATE HATE HATE my haircut. It makes me feel UGGERSER than EVER.

And, MY ARMS! I’ve had this rash on my arms since I became pregnant. It goes all the way down to my forearms. It’s how I knew I was preggers in the first place. LOVERLY. I’m not going to talk about how RIPPED my arms used to be…. And, sniffle, my ankles (or cankles — i.e., calves and ankles that are now ONE) used to be one of my favourite features. But, OH!, ’tis no more….

Despite my recent uglification, I let LOOSE at that wedding on Saturday night and had such a blast. Me, Josh, my fam, my fan, and my water danced the night away!

WHEW! UG-GERS! Hee. It’s okay…. I’m GORJ on the inside, right???!!?? LOVE!

STUFF I WANT TO INVENT (YOU HEARD IT HEAR FIRST, ‘KAY?)

1. Toilet-paper pole. When you get THIS big it’s VERY hard to wipe. I mean, you manage, but it’s super uncomfortable, and one risks falling on a public toilet seat in the effort…. A portable toilet-paper pole? Must-have.

2. Shower pole with soap dispenser and wash cloth or sponge attached. Just as it’s hard to wipe, it’s SO hard to shower. I mean, standing and BREATHING in the shower are bad enough, and then I have to wash my feet? And, I have to twist around and contort my HUGE self to clean those hard-to-reach places? And, I have to keep reaching over to get more soap because I have SO MUCH BAWD to cover? No. Too too difficult. So, some sort of pole thingy would be great. And, if there could be a button on the pole to release soap at will? That’d be much appreciated. Thanks.

3. Robotic razor. I’m not going to get into too much detail here. But, how the hell do I shave? I can’t even SEE IT, let alone REACH IT. And, shaving my legs? I mean, hellooo? Ugh. Everything is sooooo HARD! Anyway, someone has to make a special robotic razor for pregnant woman. A razor that knows EXACTLY where to go. Or, maybe some sort of pole razor. With a mirror, or something?

4. An organic deodorant that blocks sweat. Sweat sweat sweat: the story of my life right now. Just check my sweaty face in all those uggers pictures. GROSS! Now, about the underboob and the underarm sweat…. Can we PLEASE invent a deodorant with perfectly nontoxic and wonderful ingredients that keeps you from sweating everywhere like that SWEATY OLD MAN at the gym? I’d use a regular antiperspirant IF I WERE NORMAL. But, I’m not. The aluminum in commercial antiperspirants makes me anxious…when I’m preggers……. Sigh.

5. Pole for reaching toys in the backseat of car that monkey needs NOW, whether you’re at a red light or not. Of course, I wait for the red light, or I pull over. But, what does a preggers woman do when her toddler is SCREAMING in the backseat for the cookie she threw under the seat, or her sippy cup, or the Dora and Diego dolls thrown out of arms reach, or the sticker she got at camp…. Someone needs to invent a special pole for this, like, so I don’t have KILL MYSELF trying to contort this big ole bawd to appease my screaming monkey.

So, there you go. All my ideas. Go crazy YE INVENTORS! Here’s a pole — some inspiration for you…:

Yeah, that’s Britney pole dancing on the set of her new vid. Check what that’s all about at Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip….

NUMBER ONE MOST ANNOYING COMMENT I GET ALL THE TIME

"Oh, you’re so big, you’re not going to make it to your due date."

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! HATE!!!!!! BEYOND!!!! I think I hate this comment more than I hate my haircut — and that’s A FREAKING LOT. I know, I’ve said this before. But, it’s beyond annoying and RUDE. Seriously! People might as well be saying "you’re so big your baby’s going to have to go in an incubator!" Honestly? RUDE. People have been saying this to me for WEEKS. And, I LOATHE it. So not fair. Whew, I had to get that off my chest.

I’m 31 weeks! And, yes, I’M GOING TO MAKE IT. I have a full baby inside me — a baby that my ultrasound says is already THREE POUNDS! Amazing. Miraculous. SO WORTH being uggers for. SO WORTH being utterly uncomfortable for months. SO WORTH IT ALL. Check me!:

Come visit me at The Cheaty Monkey! I LOVE IT when you visit!

Want gossip? Check it — at Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip!

And, talk to me in the comments, ‘kay? I LOVE to hear your thoughts and experiences and tips and EVERYTHING! LOVE!

xo Haley-O

30 Weeks…Pretty? July 24, 2007

Whew! I made it. I MADE IT! I walked home from STARBUCKS, and I made it. Didn’t think I would. Thought I’d have to sit on someone’s front porch for a bit. But, I MADE IT. I took teeny-tiny baby steps, and I MADE IT! YES! Now, I’m sitting here downing a COLD glass of water and writing to you. And, what d’ya know, the little baby in my belly is kicking…. You LOVE mamma’s cold water, don’t you, little one…. *MWAH*!

I went to Starbucks this morning (Saturday) because it’s MY TIME, and Starbucks totally relaxes me. See, every Saturday morning now, Josh takes the monkey to breakfast with some other daddyz and then to swimming class (which is basically a half hour of the monkey screaming…), and I go chill at Starbucks.

This morning, I waddled all the way there. I hadn’t had a chai tea latte in a whole week — because I’ve suddenly started to LOATHE that dang calorie-laden drink. But, I thought I’d try another, just for old time’s sake, and to make sure that I do, indeed, loathe it. And, YES! LOATHE! It was totally vomitous!

Despite loathsome drink, I loved the time to myself with my book. I’m reading Eckler’s Wiped, since I just finished Knocked Up, which I totally LOVED and related to because it made me find humour in my expanding arse, etc., etc….

And, you know what? I felt aiight about myself. Even a teensy weensy bit pretty. Wanna hear why? ‘Kay I’ll tell you. Because this short hot guy was giving me the EYE…. Yeah, I think he liked me!? (I’m not even going to entertain the thought that he was just feeling sorry for me — you know how some guys honk or whistle at less attractive girls because they feel sorry for them? I assure you, this was NOT the case…okay?!) There was a twinkle in his GORJ hazel eyes. And, he kept saying hi to me. And, each time, I’d look down in confusion and shyness. But, I was LOVING it. It’s SO great to think that you’re still attractive at 30 weeks pregnant…. That guys might actually WANT YOU at 30 weeks pregnant. Those simple eye twinkles and little "hi"’s made my day. Love love LOVE!

I mean, not that I need a man to validate my potential gorjness…. But, it DOTH help…! At 30 weeks preggers, A-NY-THING helps! Taking a gazillion pictures of yourself to get a few aiight ones helps, too!

…umm…maybe not.

Minden has decided he wants to be famous. I told him when I’ve settled with the new baby, we can work on a pitch for his own reality show….

A-NY-WAY….

Can you believe I’m 30 weeks preggers? I mean, I CAN’T! 10 weeks to go! We are soooo, like, COUNTING DOWN! It’s pretty amazing. I can feel so much happening inside my tummy. I mean, the baby KICKS HARD, and somersaults, and stretches. I feel so blessed to experience this. To carry my baby in my body.

I look at my little girl now — as she approaches two years old — and I can’t believe she came from my body. What a gift. What a sacred gift. I’m beyond thankful to be pregnant. As much as I kvetch and laugh and make fun of my big ole preggers self, I’m constantly aware of how amazing this experience is. I’m aware that not everyone gets to have this experience. And, I feel overwhelmingly thankful. There’s a full baby inside me now! I’m connected to this baby. I FEEL THE LOVE! I am truly overwhelmed.

Me at 30 weeks:

Ahem, it would be a little nice, though if MEN could, for ONE DAY, experience the discomforts of pregnancy, though…….. They just DON’T GET IT.

Since you asked, and since it just wouldn’t be me not to kvetch AT ALL…. Here’s a list of my discomforts — I thought this would be a good note to end on (hee…):

1. Peeing EVERY FREAKING HOUR at night.

2. Laboured breathing, especially outside.

3. Picking up a toddler’s a BITCH, and the monkey INSISTS on being picked up…, especially when we’re outside in the SWELTERING SUMMER HEAT.

4. Indigestion. Again — BURRRRRRRP, OWWWWWW!!!

5. Food sucks. I want to eat, but NOTHING appeals to me. You’d think this would be a good thing. But, how am I supposed to comfort myself NOW!? Besides, I’m STILL EATING….

6. Anxiety. I’m petrified of preterm labour. Maybe it’s because people keep telling me how HUGE I am and that I’m not going to make it. BIATCHES! I even get paranoid that a little foot’s sticking out of my you-know-what!

7. Swelling. Omigosh, I can’t. make. fist. Owwww!

8. Tired tired tired tired tired tired tired.

9. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. I am soooooo stupid. Like, seriously…..

By the way, there was no RLG (Random Lady at Gym) this week. Boo. Maybe she read my blog and was AFRAID-VERY-AFRAID to approach me! Thanks so much for all your suggestions. I’ll keep them in mind for next time, when it will be TWO WEEKS since she last saw me….. What can she say that’s worse than "disgusting"???

Want more Cheaty? Go check out my personal blog at The Cheaty Monkey. I’m knitting a blanket for the little one…. Can you guess what colour it is? Hint: there will be a little bit of yellow in it………

Want CELEBRITY GOSSIP? Check it — at Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip!

TALK TO ME IN THE COMMENTS! I LOVE IT! I’ll talk back when I can. I’m TRYING to keep up. But, it’s getting really tough! BUT, I appreciate EVERY SINGLE comment!!! Please know that! LOVE!

Love!

xo Haley-O

That’s DISGUSTING! July 17, 2007

Must. Have. Smartfood Popcorn. NOW!!!!!!!!

No, seriously, I MUST HAVE IT. Hold on a sec, ‘kay. Going to go call Josh — he’ll be coming home from swimming with the monkey now. Better catch him on his way home….

‘kay back. He’s going to get me some. He better not dilly-dally, though. I need it NOW!

Actually, that’s one thing with this pregnancy I’ve noticed lately — now that I think of it. I need everything NOW! I need Josh to wake up NOW! I need that popcorn NOW! I need to pee NOW! I need to sleep NOW! I need to tackle a kitty NOW! I need new maternity clothes NOW! The monkey needs a big-girl bed NOW! So-and-so needs to shut up NOW!…So, I end up getting mad all the time (usually at Josh) because, unfortunately, one can’t get EVERYTHING one wants NOW!

I’m LOVING "RLG" lately. Remember her from last week’s post? "Random Lady at Gym"? Well, she gave me more material for this week’s post. I only go to the gym once a week for my beloved NIA class, and she’s always coming in as I’m leaving. So, here’s the convo from THIS WEEK’s encounter:

RLG: Oh my G-D!
Me: Oh, hi!
RLG: I just saw, you, what? Last week? And, you were HUGE last week, and now you’re DOUBLE the size!
Me: Oh, I, um, yes, I, erm –
RLG: It’s just DISGUSTING! It’s DISGUSTING!
Me: Yeah, I just keep getting bigger, don’t I?
RLG: I mean, I recognized your daughter and then looked up at you and, just… DISGUSTING!
Me: Thanks?
RLG: And, I saw you stretching at the end of your class, and your head was down to the floor — I couldn’t believe it.
Me: Yeah, it was kindof uncomfortable…but, gotta stretch.
RLG: You’re just huge…. That’s, just, DISGUSTING. That’s DISGUSTING!

HEE!!!! I LOVE HER! I mean, I could be totally appalled by this random conversation. Everyone I repeat it to is appalled. But, I think it’s hilarious. I’m at the point, I guess, where I’m laughing at all the comments.

Argh. Hold on a sec. MUST. PEE. NOW!!!!

One of the biggest problems with being this YUMUNGOUS is that people think they can tell you, i.e., that "You’re going to POP any minute now!" or "There’s no WAY you’re going to make it to your due date!" or "You’re so big, you’re for sure going to have a c-section!", etc., etc.. People said stuff like that to me all the time during my first pregnancy, and they’re saying it again now, AND THEY HAVE TO STOP IT BECAUSE IT SCARES ME. I mean, who wants to hear "you’re going to go any day now" when you’re ONLY 29 weeks pregnant? I mean, HELLOOO??!! It’s one thing to laugh with me and tell me I’m YUGE and "disgusting" (mind you, RLG was not laughing when she said "that’s disgusting"…), but it’s another to even JOKE about premature labour. SO. NOT. FUNNY. So just wrong.

In my last pregnancy, I was huge, too, and I gave birth only 4 days before my due date. And, TO THINK!?, I didn’t have a C-section! Isn’t that just incredible!? Hmph.

Oh oh oh! Josh is here with my Smartfood. But, erm. NOW, I don’t want it. Oh, heck, I’ll eat it anyway.

Here’s me at 29 weeks (after eating the whole bag of Smartfood…):

Okay, so, these are TERRIBLE pictures of me. First of all, I’m short, but I’m not THAT short — my oven and countertops are ridiculously high…. And, I’ve given up taking good pictures of my face. It just takes too long. But, for the record, I don’t look much like this — just ask Ali, she’ll tell you.

Want to read my personal blog? Check it — at The Cheaty Monkey?

Want your celebrity gossip fix? Go check it — at Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip!

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

P.S. I love hearing from you in the comments!!! It rocks my world, really!

Cheez Whiz Never Tasted So Good…. July 10, 2007

What is IN Cheez Whiz that makes it SO deelicious right now? I haven’t
eaten Cheez Whiz in, like, 25 YEARS. I’m an ORGANIC, WHOLE FOODS FREAK! I mean, I eat LENTILS and KAMUT and SPELT. But, today, I just HAD to have CHEEZ WHIZ.
What’s THAT all about? And, wanna know what’s more? After I ate it? I felt GREAT!
I didn’t feel sick or gross or anything. My tummy’s still buzzing with
pleasure from it….

And, chocolate M&Ms…. Why do I HAVE to have these sugar-laden artificially-coloured pieces of CARP RIGHT NOW!? And, they TOTALLY melt in your hands. TOTALLY!

M&Mmmmmmmmmmmm…!!!

And this sandwich…. Why has a sandwich never tasted SO GOOD?

But, no matter how FABULOUS everything tastes, there’s that dang INDIGESTION again! BURRRRP! OWWWWWWWW!

Here was my night last night; or, the reason my eyes have been BURNING all day:

12am — bedtime.

1:20 — pee.

2:43 — pee.

3:56 — pee.

4:28 — numbers on digital alarm clock are moving in circles. Is that a sign of gestational diabetes? Oh, wait…. It’s Friday. "JOSH, wake up! I don’t have gestational diabetes. It’s Friday, and they never called after the test! She said they’d call this week if there was a problem. I don’t have gestational diabetes! I don’t have gestational diabetes!" Must have muffin tomorrow. Pee.

5:44 — pee. Minden attacks me with kisses. Sloppy puppy kisses. Can’t. Get. Him. OFF. Me. Ew! I think his tongue touched my mouth. Why does he always go for the mouth. Are my nose and chin and forehead not enough for him? Been trying to get his tongue away from me for, like, 20 minutes. Pee.

6:30 — pee.

7:29 — freaking pee. monkey wakes up from the elephant-like sound of my walking from bedroom to washroom. change her diaper. bring her to my room. sleep is OVAH. Fabo nighto.

Minden and I are now NOT on speaking terms after last night’s RIDICULOUS display of affection.

People have been STOPPING me in the STREET to tell me they’ve SEEN THE COMMERCIAL for this blog! How cool is that! Have you seen it?!?

When we did the photoshoot for the commercial, we tried to cover a range of emotions — as displayed on the Urbanmoms.ca homepage: love, joy, awe! But, they forgot FEAR!!!! So, I’m adding this photo to the mix:

I know. NOT a good hair day. But, it is what it is. Anyway, you KNOW when I’m having an anxiety attack because I look exactly like this! And, I can look like this for HOURS. Omigosh, did I have too much cheez whiz? How much caffeine is in M&Ms? What’s up (or down) with my butt? How am I going to survive this summer?  Where are my feet? WHERE ARE MY FEET!!!??? WHAT’S HAPPENING TO MY BELLY BUTTON!!!??

NOBODY TELLS YOU….

Nobody tells you you’ll have to practically SIT on the public toilet seat in order to close the freaking DOOR.

Nobody tells you that those maternity salespeople ARE LYING TO YOU when they tell you you need the SAME SIZE as your pre-pregnancy size. (They’re also lying to you when they tell you the outfit you bought looks beautiful on you, because when you bring it home and REALLY LOOK AT IT, you’ll see that it looks LIKE TOTAL ARSE and you’re too darn tired and sluggish to return it by then.)

Nobody tells you that LABOUR can be a BREEZE compared to pregnancy.

They tell you indigestion burns…. But, nobody tells you HOW MUCH it burns.

Nobody tells you that you’re a FREAKING IDIOT to EVER THINK going through the THIRD TRIMESTER IN THE HOTTEST SUMMER EVAH would be a breeze (cute summer dresses? — umm, NO!).

Nobody tells you that you will wake up in a bed SOAKED with sweat on a regular basis and that you will KICK YOUR HUSBAND PRACTICALLY OFF THE BED IF HE’S EVEN REMOTELY ON YOUR SIDE.

Nobody tells you that, when you actually do sleep, you will SNORE like a VERY FAT OLD MAN….

Nobody tells you how much Canadian Idol will SUCK when you’re pregnant.

FAVOURITE COMMENT THIS WEEK….

Random Lady at Gym (RLG): WOW, when are you due?
Me: September 30th!
RLG: GASP!
Me: Oh, I know, I’m going to be huge.
RLG: Honey, you ARE HUGE! Whoa!
Me: Umm, yeah, thanks. Hee! Erm….

Here I am at 28 weeks! HUGE, indeed!

I need a haircut so badly, it’s not funny. I will NOT go for the new "bob" look — a la Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham. I learned my lesson during my last pregnancy, when I had my hair cut short and it looked TERRIBLE. See nobody tells you NOT TO CUT YOUR HAIR SHORT when you’re pregnant because, guaranteed, YOU WILL HATE IT.

Want more Baby Talk? Check the Discovery Health Channel Canada network (see sidebar for channels and highlights)!!! I’m learning SO MUCH watching it! Especially from…The Baby Whisperer, my new fave baby show!

Want more Cheaty? Check it — at The Cheaty Monkey! (I have a movie rental recommendation, AND I saw Knocked Up Monday evening! And…, don’t be surprised if you see these preggo pics of me there — I can only beg Josh-O to take so many!)

Want celebrity Gossip? Check it — at Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip!

LOVE!
xo Haley-O

When You’re Pregnant…and You Have a Cold…and Your Husband Has a Cold…and People Keep Telling You Their Horror Stories July 3, 2007

Sniff… Sniff… No, not crying. Sniffing. Not ‘cuz I’m sad but because DANGIT I have a cold…, or it’s the flu. Not sure. All I know is that I’m really drowsy, and my nose is not cooperating with me, and every time I sneeze I pee, and I have a sore throat, and I’m nauseous and I can’t won’t take any medication for this, and I can’t sleep, and drinking fluids every hour is making me PEEEEEEEEEE.

And, how BAD is Canadian Idol!? Just watching it now, and…WOW! Awful!

Anyway, everyone tells me "just relax, and let Josh take care of you — make him get you some chicken soup and wait on you hand and foot." But, "WAIT!" I say, with audible frustration, "HE’S SICK, TOO, dangit." We’re all sick! Me. The Monkey. AND, that hubby o’ mine who’s supposed to rub my feet, whisper sweet nothings in my plugged-up ears, read poetry to me and go out and get me that gourmet chicken soup…. No, that hubby’s conked out on the bed. The NeoCitran did him in. (HATE YOU, MR. NEOCITRAN! YOU STOLE MY HUSBAND! HATE!) I’m totally on my own. And, I’ve got an extremely cheaty little monkey to deal with totally on my own….

Josh did say he’d just get up and "help" me with the monkey, anyway. But, I said, "forget it." I don’t need two babies on my sick hands. You know how men are. So, I let him sleep in today till he felt like waking up (at 1:30pm). And, now he HAS to do EVERYTHING for the rest of the day. Feed the monkey, bathe her, take her to the park or whatever, and put her to bed. Tsk. Yeah right. Love.

Anyway, at least now I know why I’ve been walking around like a zombie the past few days…. I was in THE WORST MOOD at the neighbourhood toy store last Thursday. I’m usually really nice to everyone there. But, this time, I just wanted everyone to SHUT UP and leave me alone. If I have to tell one more person I’m due September 30th, if it’s a boy or a girl, if I have to hear one more "O-MY-GOSH! POOR YOU! THE WHOLE SUMMER," or hear one more HORROR STORY…. I’m going to lose it.

I think that’s one of the biggest problems about being pregnant. EVERYONE wants to talk to you. And, EVERYONE wants to tell you their horror birth story or their friend’s horror story, or their friend’s friend’s friend’s sister-in-law’s cousin thrice removed…. ENOUGH. Sometimes a girl just wants to be left alone to be a zombie. Blaaaaaaaah. And, if you REALLY DO feel sorry for her in this heat, get one of those giant palm-tree leaves, kneel down, and get FANNING her! Right?!

So, yeah, not feeling so hot. Barely getting through blogging the past few days. But, the support I get in blogland and from non-blogger readers (you are AMAZING) has been WONDERFUL. Thank you so much I LOVE YOU!

And, by the way? If you see me, like, in the mall or at the park or at Starbucks (which is VERY likely), DO say hi. I’m not usually this surly (hee! love that word!). I’m just not feeling well AT ALL right now. And, I’m preggers. And, no matter how SURLY I’m feeling (can one "feel" surly? too lazy to check it), or ORNERY (LOVING WORD!), you all totally make it better. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!

So, what’d my ailing preggers self do with the monkey this morning, while Josh slept in till that ridiculous unfair hour? I went on a quest. I took the OVER-THE-TOP-HYPER monkey to the mall and went on a sluggish search for the perfect perfume. See, even though I have a plugged up nose, I can still manage to smell with it. This might seem bizarre, but I AM pregnant. And, pregnant women have SUPER SMELL. And — how do I put this…? — especially in the summer, we are VERY sensitive to any remotely icky smell. So, showering alone is just not enough in this extreme heat. I can’t STAND if I smell remotely like feet (everything smells like feet, it seems), or impending milk…, or sweat, you get the picture…. And, I wanted something natural, of course. Because I’m a freak and don’t like chemicals.

Something natural was IMPOSSIBLE to find. The natural scents were too lavendery or floraly or gingery. ICK ICK ICK. I was torturing myself trying all these scents. And, now — HELP. ME. — I REEK like vanilla…, and the monkey smells vanilla-celeryish…ew…because I tried some of the perfumes on her, too. And, I think I’m going to hurl, the smell is so intense.

I did end up buying a perfume. MAC. I’ve always liked their perfumes. And, the one I got is earthy, and not fruity, which was what I wanted.

Now, when I enter a room  you’ll know I’m there for the RIGHT reasons! "…Mmmmm," they’ll say, "What’s that DIVINE smell!? Oh, is it that pregnant woman? Wonder when she’s due…. Have I got a story for HER!"

I also bought a bigger bra at the mall. Make that three bigger bras. At the Bay. I was in DESPERATE need. Now I’m RIDICULOUSLY YUGE. And, not just yuge.

Here’s me at 27 weeks!:

Loving my LULULEMON capris! It’s all I wear….

Oh CARP, the hubby’s drinking NeoCitran again. ARRRRGH! So not fair. Grrrrrrr…. HISSSS….

Sooooo…. IT’S BABY MONTH on the Discovery Health Channel CANADA. Don’t miss all the FAB shows, seriously! Check the baby-month deets at the Discovery Health Channel Canada website!

And, want more Cheaty? Check it, at The Cheaty Monkey!

Want gossip? Check it, at Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip!

xo Haley-O